The Garden of Evening Mists (Entry 3) Finished it!

I have finished "The Garden of Evening Mists." Couldn't put it down until I finished it. Read the last third right through.

Wow.

Forgiveness.
Forgetting.
Or not forgetting.
Forgetting what we want to remember. Remembering what we don't want to remember.

SPOILER ALERT... I'm going to talk about details in the book that are best unfolded as you read...

SPOILER ALERT.SPOILER ALERT.SPOILER ALERT.SPOILER ALERT.SPOILER ALERT.

Lao Tzu leaving civilization on his Water Buffalo

The writer got me into their world. I was immersed in Malaya. In Malaysia. I was there at Yugiri and next door at Majuba in the late 1940's. I was there in 1989. I was in the corner of the room, sitting silently watching the tattooing. I could feel the humid air, the sensuousness. I was scared to death when the Kwai Hoon was in her kitchen, and when the people from the "Committee to Locate Prison Camps" or whatever came.  I told Yun Ling they were not to be trusted. Well, Kwai Hoon was to be trusted, but the CT's would find Yun Ling.  I knew that moment when Aritomo walked without Yun Ling that he wasn't coming back. He was acting out the path of Lao Tzu. He was finished. He wasn't going to return to Japan. He had his garden in Malaya. He had made his map. He was finished.

The spiritual world and the physical world intersect.
The memories.
Forgiving. Forgetting.

Yun Ling carried me through her life story. I ate up every word. I processed it all with her. I was confused when she was confused. I was in survival mode when she was. I floated when she did. I learned to trust when she did.

What wasn't perfect about this book? The map to show the treasure was contrived I thought. Too much hinting at the treasure, the gold. And her back, and the garden itself as the missing piece? I thought that a little too contrived. Too clever. I didn't think it was necessary actually. The story held up beautifully on it's own as a story of completion, of healing between Yun Ling and Aritomo, between a Chinese prisoner and a Japanese who knew what had happened. Okay, so the tattoo did pull them together. So maybe just the tattoo and the map, not the treasure. I'm softening a bit here on this point.

Superb how Tominaga Noboru was connected  with Yun Ling and with Aritomo. Loved that part. And how Magnus sacrificed himself for Emily, Yun Ling and Aritomo. What a guy. He and his son Frederik were so real to me. Frederik was the spoiled kid, Magnus was full of life. Bigger than life. Flying his Transvaal flag. Opening up his home to Yun Ling in the first place. The final sacrifice.

Okay, how about this: Were you surprised when you found out that Yun Ling was a snitch in the prison camp? WOW. I was. Opened up a whole 'nother side of her to my eyes. Maybe I should have seen it, how when she escaped she chose a career of getting revenge, of putting Japanese war criminals behind bars.

Can I really call her a snitch? She told Fumio what other prisoners were doing. It was survival. But still. I don't know. Thankfully I have never been in her shoes.

 And there's the comment made so many times, that she was the only one who escaped alive from that camp. When I heard that the first time, I thought there was some self-survival action she did to escape. But then I thought, she wouldn't leave her dear sister behind to die. Not to judge. In the book she had no choice.  Ferried off by Tominaga and set free... would I have run for it right away? She went back, only to watch the implosion. She did go back.

Returning to the story, were you surprised when Aritomo and Yun Ling spent their first night together? I was stopped in my tracks. Thought they had a mentor-student relationship. Guess I should have seen the bow-and-arrow sexual tension coming.

Did this book change my thinking? Does it seep into my mind randomly? Well yes. Even since finishing it last night, yes.

First the concept of memories. Writing down your memories, as you will forget them. Yun Ling had a powerful story to tell, quite the life. We all have a powerful story to tell. We are all in the midst of living our lives. But please please let us pause and reflect once in awhile. Let us listen to our life story, learn from it, grow from it, heal from it, accept it as our own.

I am not a true student of Japanese Gardening. I see it takes years and years to understand, and perhaps part of it is you never understand it all. But I gather the gardens can have several purposes. One is contemplation. Pausing in peace and controlled serenity. Which allows the person who enters moments to think. With nature controlled and surrounding you. Immersed in bound-by-people nature, yet with nature still moving forward. The heron. The change of seasons. The breeze.

Contemplate.

Loved the part where Aritomo asked Yun Ling to close her eyes. "I want you to listen to the garden. Breathe it in. Cut your mind from its constant noise. When you open your eyes again" - Aritomo's voice seemed to come from far away - "look at the world around you." 

Patience. I hope you all did just this. Close those eyes. Wait. Patience. Do it. Close those eyes. Listen. Breathe.

Then open them.

My eyes skimmed over the water to the camellia hedges, to the trees rising to the mountains, the mountains entering the folds of clouds. ..... For the first time I felt I was inside a living, three-dimensional painting.... A sigh, both of contentment and sorrow, drained from deep within me. 

There's a "way of life" component to this story Eng wrote. I like that.

Second big thing that is seeping into me. Forgiveness doesn't have to be complete, or at least at first. Doesn't have to be unconditional. Doesn't mean you say,"It's okay you hurt me. And that you killed my sister." But what is it?

So what is forgiveness?

I have thought it meant not needing revenge. Accepting the event as something done, and move forward with no judgement towards the doer. I will look this up.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offence or debt. In most contexts, forgiveness is granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is incommunicado or dead).'

So forgiveness is me moving forward. Totally. As Yun Ling kept doing all through the book. How else could she have loved Aritomo so purely. BUT it took stages. It took years. It took conversations and events and processing. It took time and work. So worth it to not carry the anger and hate. So worth it. 

As a Christian, I think of Christ's redemptive act on the cross, for forgiveness of my sins. 
Forgiveness is me moving forward. 
Hope. 

All I can say is "thank you."

More on parts of the book I highlighted later. Off to church.